Christmas Gift Guide for the Gentleman Scofflaw (In Your Life)
It’s Christmas so everyone is either doing 12 Days of Christmas deals, sales, guides or whatever. We’re Scofflaws, we do what we want. So here are 15 gift ideas for the Gentleman Scofflaw in your life. Yeah, it’s a weird number, but we did all the work for you, so quit whining and be grateful. Listen along to the podcast episode for this guide if you want more details and superfluous commentary. We’ve including gifts at all different price points from $9 to $124 (at the time of this post.)
15) A Corncob Pipe
A corncob pipe is a classic, it’s also synonymous with Christmas, because of that dumbass snowman. It’s cheaper (and many say better) than a briar pipe. You can get one for a few bucks from our good friend Scott at aristocob.com. We’d recommend starting out with a Country Gentleman, it’s a great size and looks classy as crap. Perfect for a veteran pipe smoker or someone just getting started. If you want to learn a little about the history of the corncob pipe, check out our episode with Scott of Aristocob. - $12
You can’t smoke a pipe without tobacco… well you can, but we don’t recommend it. Why not get a seasonal favorite from our good friends over at Country Squire? This blend will definitely get you in the holiday spirit. You still won’t know what the hell figgy pudding is, but your taste buds will thank you (as well as everyone else around you.) While you’re at it, check out our episode with Jon David Cole (aka Tobacco Jesus), the resident tobacconist at The Country Squire. - $9
If you’re looking for a unique way to carry your pipe (or cigars) and accessories to your next Herf, grab one of these. These are basically military-style pouches used by medics to organize supplies. They’re great for smoking accessories because their loop system is the perfect size for pipe accessories. You can toss in 2-3 pipes, pipe cleaners, tamper, lighter and tobacco pouch. Better yet, you can snap it to the outer webbing of your ruck sack. - $16
These shorts are the best, they’re lightweight and breathable, and have a lining to gently cradle your grapes. They’re great for travel, training, sleeping in, swimming in, even as boxers when you’ve run out of underwear because you’re lazy ass waited until you were out of undies to wash a load (speaking from experience.) Be sure to check out our episode with our good friend Brett McKay, the founder and author of The Art of Manliness. - $20
11) Darn Tough Socks
These socks are literally the greatest money can buy, and we can vouch for them. They’re a wool-spandex blend, tough as a bull scrote and just as soft. They keep your feet cool or warm, and stay dry. Which means no blisters if you’re using them for training, rucking or hiking long distances. They’re also guaranteed for life! If they ever rip on you, Darn Tough (an American company) will replace them for you, no questions asked. - $20
We’ve talked a lot about Phoenix Shaving here. We love and use their products. Even better, Douglas Smythe formulates the products and makes them himself here in the good old US of A. He’s also a great guy who we love to hang out with and support. If you haven’t yet taken the wet shaving plunge, you might as well start with the best. Get a gift set, or just a soap, or an aftershave, you can’t go wrong with any of their products. If you want to smell like a gentleman gun fight in the old west, definitely go with “Tombstone”… so specific. Also, check out our episode with Douglas Smythe, the gentleman who makes all these products. - $35
If you have a beard, then make sure to get some Beard Oil from Phoenix Shaving, it’s the best bang for your buck (also, Tombstone.) Then grab yourself a Wooden Comb and Boar Bristle Brush set from Viking Revolution. It’ll help tame those fly-aways and make your beard look neat. You can finish it off with some Dapper Doc’s ‘Tache Wax from Phoenix Shaving if you want to style it a little more. Pro Tip: Put your wooden beard comb in a bag of your favorite pipe tobacco for a couple weeks, it’ll smell glorious whenever you comb your face. - $10
Like whiskey? That’s good. Wanna like it even more? Use a Crystal Glencairn nosing glass. This glass is heralded by whiskey aficionados around the world as the best way to experience your spirits. It concentrates the aromas to the tip of the glass near your nose, since half of tasting is smelling, you get a richer experience. Plus when you drink from one, you’ll look fancy AF. - $15
I know what you’re thinking, “a scarf? Isn’t that a little extra?” Would you say that to a Navy Seal or Green Beret? No, because you’d get your ass kicked. These tactical scarfs are classic in all situations. You can dress up an outfit, or like our service members you can keep it in your bug out bag as wind or smoke protection, a tourniquet, water filter, bandana, arm sling, bandage and more. Truly useful for any scofflaw to have as part of their kit. - $12
This is the legendary windproof soft flame lighter. They’re guaranteed for life, so you never have to buy one ever again, Zippo will repair or replace your beloved lighter. If you smoke a pipe, you can send it into Zippo for a free pipe insert that is made especially for lighting a pipe bowl. Plus you’ll have tons of fun pulling out of your pocket and clinking it open… It’s the original fidget spinner, but it lights on fire. - $10
There’s no greater feeling in the world than falling asleep in the open air beneath the trees. These portable hammocks are like a tropical escape in a tiny sack. You can take them camping, to the beach, to the park (and we’re pretty sure someone somewhere has tried to use it as a sex swing) or anywhere you want to just kick back and relax. Screw therapy, just get a hammock and a pipe and burry down your troubles deep down inside. You can can get these online from anywhere from $15 to $60. The most reliable and most well reviewed are by ENO, but we’re pretty sure these hammocks by Wise Owl all made I the same factory. Be sure to get some tree straps to make your life a whole lot easier. - $60
Photo by by Adam C. Bartlett
Everybody hates gyms. Plus, no dude looks masculine using a machine (especially if it’s at Planet Fitness.) There’s an alternative that we prefer, and it’s moving around heavy sh*t in the form a GORUCK Sandbag. Basically a Training Sandbag is like a Barbell/Kettlebell/Heavy Bag/Medicine Ball all rolled into one. It’s portable, you can take it anywhere and it’s great for both strength and conditioning. Plus you can train like a Marine or an MMA fighter out in the open air at the park and get weird looks from all the man bun-wearing soccer players. GORUCK’s gear is built in the USA and guaranteed for life, so you never have to buy one of these again. They’re great for Cleans, Presses, Thrusters, Snatches, Swings, Rows, Burden Carries, Turkish Getups, Manmakers, Squats, Lunges, Throws and anything else you can dream up. Its a big bag o’ suck… in a good way. Be sure to check out our episode with Jason McCarthy, the founder of GORUCK to learn the kickass history of their company. - $105
Every man should own a Weekender Watch. These time pieces are… timeless? They’re affordable, tough and classic. You can dress it up, or dress it down, and the coolest thing is you can quickly swap out the bands depending on your mood. Go with Nylon for a casual Saturday afternoon, or black leather with a Tuxedo for all the high society cocktail parties you’ll be attending. Better yet, wear it while sipping some Scotch out of your Glencairn glass and people will look at you and say “that guy is fancy AF.” - $30
Every Scofflaw needs a flask to tote their Evan Williams to the movie theater or while on a Bushcrafting adventure. This flask has a shiny metallic version of our Gentleman Scofflaw Logo. It’s well-made and just looks cool and is far superior to hiding your liquor in a paper sack (face it, you’re never fooling anyone.) This is our favorite offering from our GentScofflaw merch shop. Just get one damn it. - $18
1) Ammodor Cigar Humidor
Out of all our gifts on this list, this item embodies both Gentleman and Scofflaw the most. It’s an up cycled Ammo Can converted into a Cigar Humidor. It’s the perfect combo of novel and practical. Lined with cedar, and you can customize it with your favorite hygrometer and humidification system (we recommend the Boveda option). The best thing about it is that it’s air tight, and requires almost no maintenance. Kevin, makes all these by hand here in the USA. The 50 cal. holds up to 100 cigars. If for some reason you survive the Zombie Apocalypse, you can be positive that all your favorite sticks will be fresh and ready to smoke while you’re planning your evacuation plan. - $124
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